Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
