yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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