I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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