I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
