Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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