my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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