the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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