you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
