OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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