physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
