everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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