eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize