I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
