Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
