I think i peed on brittanys purse
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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