your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it glows. i had to have it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
