drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
