If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize