apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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