fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
