Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
