oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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