butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
