hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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