Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
