My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize