god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
