I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
