I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize