foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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