this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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