time to smoke my breakfast
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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