where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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