So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
