Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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