jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
