she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
