i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
