like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
