I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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