i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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