Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
