The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
