I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
