It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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