We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
