I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
