I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
