Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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