is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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