that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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