eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize