Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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