Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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