Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
