i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
