After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
