his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
