Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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