i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm passing your future prison.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize