i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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