You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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