this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
