and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
