Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
