Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
