Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I am available for nakedness
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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