I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
